


The Longing

by stardropdream



Category: Kobato
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 10:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardropdream/pseuds/stardropdream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She knows it's already too late. She wants to go with him, more than anything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ August 8, 2012. 
> 
> Kind of an attempt at "first meeting" between Suishou and Ioryogi. I wanted it to have a kind of parallel with Hisui and Kokuyou (from Wish) but not be a direct copy. And also attempt to have it line up with canon, too. idk. Hopefully it's not boring? I LOVE THESE FOOLS SO MUCH. GUH.
> 
> Note: Suishou, as an angel, is genderless. For the sake of convenience, I'm using female pronouns.

She sings, but it is with less energy today. The little angels that hatch from the eggs fly to her, touch her cheek, and ask her what’s wrong. It’s unlike her for the song to be melancholy. Truly, she is a young enough angel that she shouldn’t completely understand that sense of melancholy, or, at least, be unable to articulate it in a way that tugs at the heartstrings. They ask her quietly what’s wrong, all sympathy and wide eyes.  
  
But she doesn’t have an answer. She smiles softly and shoos them away, not unkindly. They linger, though, their eyes wide, their desire to make her feel better stronger than ever.   
  
“I’m sorry… I don’t know what’s come over me,” she says softly, cradling her hands against her chest. “At the bridge meeting yesterday, someone very kind helped me when I was stuck in a tree.”   
  
The little ones listen with interest and she hesitates, smiling just a little. An unsure smile. She hasn’t done anything wrong, but she feels as if she is confessing a deep secret. She knows these young ones will be without judgment, though.   
  
“I sang to him as a thank you and… singing now seems different, when it’s not to him.” She closes her eyes. “Ioryogi-san…” She laughs. “I still can’t say it right… if we meet again, he’ll certainly scold me.”  
  
It scares her a little, how completely empty her song feels together. But it must be a fluke. It’s been so long since she’s seen anyone from outside heaven. And he had been gruff, but kind. It’d been a surprise, but a nice one.   
  
She floats down to the base of the tree, eggs waiting to hatch hanging above her head. She sighs, eyes closing for a moment as she tries to focus on the feel of the breeze and sun on her cheeks. She feels warm all over.  
  
“I hope I do meet him,” she admits, quietly.   
  
  
\---  
  
  
“Ioryogi-san!” she gasps out in surprise when, at the same lake, she spots the man from before. He’s standing near the tree she’d been stuck in the previous season. She doesn’t know what brought her to the lake again, but seeing him is a surprise – a pleasant one.   
  
“You don’t say it right,” he mutters, looking annoyed. His brows furrow and his frown is wide and unsettling.   
  
“I- I’m sorry…” she says, clutching her hands together. The last thing she wants is for him to be unhappy with her – although part of her is delighted that he seems to remember her, too. “I didn’t forget it, it’s just difficult for me to say…”  
  
He grunts something but seems to relax in the shoulders. She smiles, pleased.   
  
“But, even so, what are you doing here? The meeting this season doesn’t concern the Otherworld…” she says, slowly. This meeting is between the angels and the demons. The Otherworld isn’t meant to be here.   
  
“Obviously I came to see you,” he mutters quickly, blushing and not looking at her as he says it. She blinks a few times in her surprise and then she feels the flush of happiness in her cheeks. She can’t help but let the wide smile bloom across her face.   
  
She floats down beside him, their eyes meeting for a moment – and in that moment, it’s enough for her to feel completely captured. She looks away and then sits down. She looks up at him, hoping her smile is inviting. He hesitates but then joins her, stretching his long legs out and leaning back against the tree trunk, watching her carefully out of the corner of his eye. She folds her wings, still smiling at him. But he’s too busy blushing and looking away to really notice.   
  
“I’m happy,” she says, then looks down when he glances at her. “Because we were able to meet again.”  
  
He grunts, but says nothing. She hopes she hasn’t overstepped her bounds or made him uncomfortable.  
  
They sit in silence, but it’s a comfortable sort.  
  
“Hey,” he says suddenly.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“S—I mean.” He looks uncomfortable, silent for a moment. She looks at him silently, inviting whatever it is he wants to say. He clears his throat, still looking a little uncomfortable or perhaps uncertain, then he says, almost politely, “Will you sing again?”  
  
It’s strange to hear the polite tone, or at least the attempt. In the short things he’s said to her, it’s clear he doesn’t do this often. Something squeezes tight in her chest.   
  
She beams, delighted he asked all the same, and sings for him.  
  
  
\---  
  
  
It’s after a few meetings like this that she realizes she is always thinking of him, even when he is away, even when she is in heaven, meant to hatch the angel eggs. Only those with a pure heart can hatch them, and lately she fears for her lack of enthusiasm, her wandering mind. Her heart, she realizes, is elsewhere, always longing to be where she can see him. She fears what this would mean for the new angels, born on the song of a pining heart.  
  
“If I could be with him…” The words wind their way through her song, and she knows she should stop it, before the longing becomes too strong, before it becomes too late and her heart becomes saturated with envy and longing.  
  
But deep down, she already knows it’s too late – that she is in love with Ioryogi and she can do nothing to stop it. Once her heart is given away, it is given away forever.   
  
  
\---  
  
  
Before the next meeting on the bridge, she knows he will be there. After the turn of many seasons, she knows that much – even when the Otherworld is not meant to be there, he certainly will be. The right thing to do would be to avoid the lake, but she can’t stand the idea of him waiting there, only for her to never arrive. She can’t stand the idea of hurting him or disappointing him.   
  
She flies to him and he reaches up, letting her hand fall into his. Their fingers touch and she inhales sharply. He guides her down with surprising gentleness – with her, it is always surprising gentleness. She sees the gruffness in everything he does, the confidence and arrogance that comes with being a prince. She knows that it is a gift to see this side of him, and she hopes she is the only one who sees it – can’t stand the idea of someone else seeing it, too. She smiles at him, already feeling warm and complete – a feeling she’s only known with him.  
  
“Hello,” she says, her voice quiet but thick with longing.   
  
He doesn’t let go of her hand, as she expects him to. “Hey.”  
  
He seems to have something on his mind, but when she questions him, he only scoffs and shrugs it aside, leading her to sit below the tree they always sit under. She sighs out, comfortable, almost resting against him. After a moment, he wraps an arm around her and holds her close. She closes her eyes, content. Yes, this is what she wants, more than anything in the world.   
  
It’s too late. Her heart will always pine.   
  
“I love being here,” she says, quietly. Then looks up at him. “With you.”  
  
He flushes, but then grins and laughs. “Damn right you do!”  
  
“Mm,” she agrees, and that only makes him blush more.  
  
“Silly angel,” he mutters, but looks pleased.   
  
  
\---  
  
  
Too soon the time they need to part arrives. The meeting will be ending soon. It’s been enough seasons that no one from heaven expects her to be at the meeting itself – it doesn’t quite concern her and they know she likes the lake. But the last thing she wants is for them to come looking for her, should she linger too long. She blinks away the ridiculous urge to cry, and makes sure she smiles when she whispers her goodbye to Ioryogi, wings unfurling.  
  
But he grabs her hand and pulls her to him – not letting her escape. He hesitates for just a moment, looks at her, before leaning in to kiss her. She gasps in soft surprise before her free hand reaches up and touches his face. He breathes out, a shudder of relief, and drags her to him, encasing her into his arms and holding her close, one hand tangling up into her hair, cradling the back of her head with that surprising gentleness.  
  
When they part, she smiles up at him, shyly. “Ioryogi-san…”  
  
“You still can’t say it right,” he teases, smiling. It touches his eyes in a way that makes something squeeze in her chest again. She laughs, lets her hand linger against his cheek. He doesn’t let her pull away, even though she knows she has to go, even though she tries. She tries half-heartedly.   
  
“They’ll be looking for me,” she says, apologetic – and wishing she could stay.  
  
He must see it in her eyes because he says, “Don’t go back.”  
  
She starts in surprise. There’s no misunderstanding the weight of his demand. “Eh?”  
  
“Come with me,” he urges. She continues to stare at him, alarmed by how much she wants to say ‘yes’ in that moment.   
  
“I… I can’t,” she whispers. She tries to pull away, but he doesn’t let her get far. “They – I’m needed in heaven. I can’t leave it.”  
  
He frowns, looking pained. She feels her heart break at the expression.  
  
“If I could…” she begins.  
  
“So just do it,” he says, sounds desperate. “Come away and be with me!”  
  
“I can’t!” she says, chokes back a sob. “I’m sorry – I can’t! They need me…”  
  
“ _I_ need you,” he says and she blinks in surprise. It’s the first time he’s said even a hint to his feelings. He stares at her, holds her hand tight. He repeats, “I need you. Suishou.”  
  
“Ioryogi-san…” she whispers, bites her lip – it’s the first time he’s said her name. That same squeezing in her chest returns.  
  
For one moment, her heart wavers. Tears fall and she tries to blink them away. She wants go with him – but she knows she cannot.  
  
Slowly, she shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”  
  
She leans in to kiss him and with difficulty pulls herself away from him.  
  
“I have to go.”  
  
“Come with me,” he says again.  
  
“I have to go back,” she whispers, begs him to understand.   
  
She starts to fly away, but again he takes her hand. “If you won’t come with me,” he says gruffly. “Then I’ll take you away.”  
  
“Ah… What— ”  
  
“I’ll come get you,” he says, a spark lighting up his eyes, the beginnings of that arrogant smirk. “I’ll make you mine. I’ll take you away.”  
  
Something catches in her throat. She can’t find the strength to answer him, but her heart speeds up. He lets go of her hand, a confident smile splitting his face in two.  
  
 _Yes,_ she thinks, _Please come get me._  
  
But she flies away before she can linger, fearing that if he were to ask her again, she would give in. She looks back as she leaves, and he’s watching her go – the longing is still there, but so is that determination sparking to life.  
  
“I’m already yours,” she whispers to herself. She closes her eyes, breathes in and out.  
  
She knows they have crossed a line. She can’t imagine what Ioryogi could mean by coming to get her. But one thing is clear. As desperately as she longs for him, she knows she cannot return to the bridge. Knows that she can’t allow herself to leave heaven, to give up the job meant for her. No matter how completely she longs to leave with him.  
  
Even so, she feels the hope deep down – that desire that, yes, he would come to get her. And they can be together.


End file.
